Bringing Home The Medicine (part one)
This writing is a novel and a work of fiction. The situations are drawn from my
own recent life experiences. The characters are created, and may be similar to
real people... BUT they are NOT real people. This is still a work in progress so
don't be surprised if it changes from time to time... I love my edit button!
We were driving south on I-95 in my F-250 pulling a two horse slant with one
horse in it - Medicine Man - a paint stallion.
It was The first week of July, 05. I was three months into my retirement and
In fact, I had given Patti the last of my available cash money, almost seven
thousand, for the horse and trailer. Patti was going with me to Florida,
"I want to see where Spot is going to be living."
That was her explanation.
"Spot, will love it in Florida, if he can handle the heat and the bugs."
I was trying to sound convincing - but didn't - judging by the look on Patti's face.
She had a good Irish face. Hell she was all Irish - and a typical Hoosier-
pragmatic and skeptical. Which was one reason why I liked her so much - and
had never tried to make love to her.
In her own words,
"I'll take a chance, occasionally, as long as the damn check clears the bank."
My check did clear - barely - and that very same afternoon we drove out to the
farm where she was boarding Medicine (and parking the trailer) for $300.00 a
month. She could easily afford it, but did not want to pay it. Especially since
'Spot' had thrown her in the dirt - the very first time she tried to ride him. I didn't
blame him - they were teasing him, and keeping him agitated and aggravated.
What did they expect?
'He is a Stallion - not a friggin gelding!'
I did not like the place, or the lady who ran it. Too many horses and too little
grass. Horses need green grass, they thrive on it - naturally!
Also I did not like the fact that he was surrounded by mares coming in and out of
season and he was trapped in a dirt lot surrounded by a hot wire - on his side of
the fence. If one of the mares came close to the fence, so he could check her
out (which mares will do and the lady who ran the place didn't see the need to
keep the mares away) he got SAPPED, just for being a stallion and doing what
stallions are supposed to do. If that isn't animal cruelty, I'm not a cracker. If
you know me, you know I am a natural born cracker. I was glad to get
Medicine out of there.
When we got him loaded and on the road I let her know exactly what I was
"That money hungry bitch wanted you to cut him and keep him there- didn't she?
And YOU probably would have!"
"That really bothers you - huh cowboy?"
"Hell yes - it bothers me! How would you liked to be -- DE-SEXED? Shit Patti -
He's a medicine horse - you don't castrate a medicine horse!"
She rolled her eyes and chuckled.
"Your problem now."
I glared at her,
"Your just as bad as that neo-cowgirl back there - all those three hundred a
month horses - and no damn grass! Bugs or no bugs, that horse will be happy in
Florida - WITH his balls INTACT!"
"Well I sold him to you - didn't I? He's still the man."
She responded sweetly, still grinning at me.
'Women! Shit, they all think the same - If you can't control him - castrate him!
Actually, I was thinking about ME and the heat and the bugs. They really get to
me in the summer and I did not want to go back to Florida - not yet anyway. But
I knew it was the best thing to do - all things considered.
The Medicine Horse could handle most anything - I would come to learn - a fine
animal with a lot of heart, intelligence and a great disposition. I was lucky to get
him and the trailer so cheap.
"You know I really didn't want to sell Spot."
She said again, for about the third time that day, as we drove south.
"Want to buy him back? That would make mi amor especial very happy - IF she
could get her hands on the money!"
She stared at me with that typical cynical look on her typical Irish face for a
long moment before answering,
"It would probably serve you right if she did get HER hands on YOUR money -
maybe that would teach you a damn good lesson about certain kinds of women
-- but I doubt it. BUT, If you do decide to sale him, you need to call me FIRST -
I said quickly - wondering how long I would be able to keep him. Then I gave
her my best Johnny Dep pirates grin and said sweetly,
"Just write me a check, Honey Pie. Make it for ten grand - and we'll just turn this
big horse-ship around and sail on back to Carolina - and day after tomorrow- mi
cracker ass will be in Rio! HA!HA! SMOOCHY! SMOOCHY! HEY-O! you wanna
fly-o wid me-o, HONEY BABY-O!"
"No thanks! And DON'T call me HONEY!"
Then she got that too serious look on her face (which always annoys the hell out
a me) and said flatly,
"Even if you do go to Rio - she's gonna find you."
I thought about that for a moment,
"Maybe - but who the hell cares? Shit! She ain't looking for ME anyway - she's
looking for a RICH Yankee Daddy! And I ain't! SI!"
She made that exasperated woman-sigh they ALL do so well, drooped her head
forward, then tilted it sideways and back, while brushing the fingers of her left
hand through her curly black hair and cutting her blue eyes at me with that
unmistakable 'fuck you cowboy' look. Then she turned her face to the side
window and said one of her favorite sayings in an exaggerated Irish brogue,
"Suckie ass Southern gentlemen, all over the Suckie ass South. Honey this,
Honey that, EVERYTHING and EVERYBODY is HONEY!"
I laughed and responded in a slow, exaggerated Charleston drawl,
"Now Honey Pie -- Y'aall Hoosier Yankees know -- Y'aall just love all us
southerners to death -- and that's why Y'aall -- have invaded this 'Suckie ass
South' -- AND, Also -- To keep your Yankee asses warm in winter -- of course!
"Right! And you were born in Missouri -- WEREN'T you?"
"Yup, you got it Sugar -- just a few miles south of the Mason Dixon line -- place
called Bonne Terre -- which means a la Francie -- the good earth."
"For Christ's sake!"
"DON'T EVER CALL ME SUGAR!"
We rode along in silence for awhile and I concentrated on my driving. The traffic
was heavy both north and south. It always is in July on 95 - day or night.
"Wonder were all these people are going and where in the hell do they get their
money? Fuel will cost three bucks a gallon before 'W' retires - just you wait and
see - how in the hell can a truck driver make a living when fuel is high as a
hawks nest? HUH? Tell me that. Patricia!"
"You are retired. Remember? Not your problem! Just don't run out of fuel
After an hour on the road she put her seat back and went to sleep. She snored
quietly. Not loud enough to wake me up - good to know if I did ever sleep with
her - which I doubted would ever happen. She's two months older than me. Still
a good looking woman. But I'm not normally amorously attracted to women my
age. 25 to 45 is about the right age. Under 25, they don't know too much, over
45, they do know too much. Which is normal thinking for a fifty year old man - I
She had slept for almost two hours. But now she was awake and fidgeting in her
"A little more sleep and you would have woke up in Florida."
She yawned and shivered at the same time.
"That was my plan - but I guess it didn't work."
I reached over and turned off the AC. Then I glanced at the fuel gage. It
showed 1/4 tank.
"We'll stop at exit one and get fuel, its cheaper in Georgia."
"Oh... Not too far... Let me see..."
Her ankles were crossed and her knees were shaking back and forth so I new
she had to piss. I was thinking,
'Hope she can hold it a little longer. Us men do have one advantage, when we
first wake up the spigots turned off - naturally - most of the time.'
I waited until the next mile marker was visible in the headlights. It was the 10
"Less then ten minutes."
I assured her.
"I have to pee - BAD!"
That's when the tire blew. The sound of it was loud as a shotgun blast. The
steering wheel didn't jerk, so I knew it was on the rear axle of the truck. We
fishtailed a little and I got my foot off the gas, quick! We coasted onto the
emergency strip. I ranted,
"Damn it the luck! I hate being on the side of the frigging interstate highway with
a frigging flat! Especially at night! People get run over on this frigging highway!"
I got my emergency flashers on and eased into the grass, leaving all the inside
wheels on the pavement.
"Holy Crap! I bet that scared the hell out a Medicine Man!"
Patti hadn't said a word. As soon as I got stopped I shoved the shifter into park
and looked at her. Her face was whiter than normal, her eyes were big as
saucers, and she had one hand over her mouth.
I asked with real concern - but she didn't answer. She looked like a stupid deer
about to be hit by a truck. I reached over and pulled her hand down.
"Hey, can you breath, or what?"
She let out a big breath and announced at the same time,
"I wet my pants!"
I laughed out loud - spontaneously.
"Yea, really! And it ain't funny! I really PISSED like a COW! I couldn't stop it!
This seat is so damn soaked!"
"Like a COW! YOU DIDN'T?"
I laughed some more. She raised up her butt fast and twisted around as I
turned on the dome light. There was an incredulously embarrassed look on her
face and her lite blue shorts were dripping wet, and they were much darker
between her legs and all over her butt. Pee was literally running down the
inside of her legs and she spread them apart and groaned as she banged her
head on the roof of the cab and squealed,
"JESUS ICKY CHRIST!"
"Damn girl! You really ARE soaked! THAT must have FELT JUST like an
She gave me that 'you typical male asshole' look. But, a slight smile flickered
on her face - for about half a second.
"Hell no! You ignorant cracker! It FELT just like I WET MY PANTS!"
I continued to chuckle as I reached into the back seat of the crew cab and
grabbed a pair of my jeans and my good pink cotton shirt - the only other shirt I
had with me.
'I got married in that damn shirt'
"Glad I brought some cloths. Here, dry off with this shirt. These pants are 32
waist and will probably be tight on your ass - but they are dry - anyway - just roll
up the legs."
I lay them on the back of the seat and reached over to the glove box to get a
flash light as she immediately started pulling her wet pants and underwear off
with her butt right in my face. She smelled like sweat and urine and sex and I
'This is friggin ridiculous and I got to get that damn horse out of that damn trailer!'
"So you think I got a fat ass, huh?"
She demanded in a huff.
I laughed again and watched as she quickly changed into my jeans while being
careful not to sit back down on the wet seat where my good pink cotton shirt
was soaking up piss.
"Well-- No-- You got a woman's butt-- With a nice-- VERY nice--
Complexion-- And those ARE men's pants."
"Well I certainly hope so! If they belong to your hoochie momma wife --I'll -- I'll
kick YOUR ass!"
"My hoochie momma estranged wife."
I corrected her while busting my gut laughing. She was blushing bright red.
Then I got serious.
"Open your door but don't get out - yet. Those trucks and cars are going
eighty-plus and they WILL run over YOU! So stay away from the pavement and
keep in the grass -YOU GOT THAT?"
She nodded yes with her butt against the dash and her shoulders stooped over
with her back up against the windshield. I leaned in front of her to shine the
flashlight into the grass - also being careful not to touch the wet seat. I couldn't
help but squish her as I crowded by. Her breasts were firm with hard nipples - I
couldn't help but notice - as I paused to search the grass for snakes and fire ant
beds. Luckily I didn't see either. I could feel her breath on the back of my neck
as she gasped for air.
"Your squashing me you big lug - What the hell are you looking for?"
"Critters that might want to bite your pretty white ass."
"Oh! Well -- its been bit before -- a few times. "
She took a deep breath when I finally got out of her way and looked with
concern at the tall grass.
"Don't worry. I don't see anything. Just walk where I walk."
The traffic was wising by without slowing at all. The force of the wind from the
big trucks was shaking the horse trailer and Medicine was pawing at the floor.
With the flash light scanning the grass, I walked at least a hundred feet past the
trailer keeping an eye on the traffic and stopped abruptly. Patti bumped into my
back. She was right on my heels.
She giggled nervously.
I turned around grabbed her wrist, stuck the flash light in her hand and yelled at
her over the roaring of the constant stream of big trucks and cars.
"CAN YOU SCREAM LIKE BLOODY MURDER?"
The expression on her face turned from worry to fright for a quick second before
she nodded her head yes. She looked away toward the trailer as if she
suddenly realized how dangerous it was there beside that highway. I gripped
her wrist hard and our eyes locked as I yelled at her again,
LISTEN TO ME! STAY IN THE GRASS! KEEP YOUR EYES ON THAT
TRAFFIC! SCREAM LIKE CRAZY IF ANYONE CROSSES THAT WHITE LINE
-- AND RUN LIKE HELL -- THAT WAY!"
I pointed across the ditch toward the fence.
Dropping her arm I turned and trotted toward the trailer. After a few steps I
turned around and trotted backwards - yelling louder,
"AND DON'T DROP THE DAMN LIGHT!"
She waved her free hand and kept her face toward the traffic as I ran to get
Medicine out of that trailer. I wanted to get him away from the road so I could
change the flat without worrying about him getting injured or killed by a sleepy or
road hypnotized driver. At night they do follow tail lights and too many people
have been killed in situations just like this.
'Need a damn highway patrol, where the hell they at, truck stop krispy kream,
SHIT I could scream, Patti's a good woman, with a nice ass, hope she keeps it
in the grass! Cell phones on the dash, need to call 911, get a blue light behind
this rig, CRAP! AND WHAT ABOUT THE CRAP, hidden in the feed barrel in
the trailer tack, SHIT! DOUBLE SHIT! If this rig gets busted open -- my ASS is
My mind was racing as I quickly got the rear gate open wide on the trailer.
Medicine nickered loudly. He was glad to see me. He stopped pawing the floor
but continued to jerk around nervously. I was nervous as hell myself but moved
calmly and normally toward him . The traffic was still heavy and the big trucks
couldn't get out of the right lane so the trailer was still shaking in the wind as
they hurled by. I knelt down and reached up under the center gate and began to
rub the powerful animal on the side of his neck while talking to him.
"Easy Buddy, its all right now, lets get out and take a walk, easy - easy now."
He snorted and sniffed my arm as I pulled the slip knot out of his lead rope. I
had a good grip on the rope - just in case - as I opened the gate. He turned
quickly, but didn't bolt! I breathed a sigh of relief as I lead him to the step
down. I stepped out in front of him and watched his feet as he began to unload
perfectly. Both of his front hoofs were on the grass - but his back end was still
in the trailer when I heard Patti screaming like a wild Irish Banshee!
To be continued... Next Blog!
Thursday July 13, 2006 - 12:53pm (EDT)
Previous Post: Night Sonnet To Sarah
Comments(6 total) Post a CommentRain... Offline Haven't been by in a while, I
know, but this has got to be the best post you have ever done...your a natural
talent for writing a book from life experiences such as this and you should write
one. Would be a great keepsake for your children and grandchildren.
Thursday July 13, 2006 - 06:38pm (CDT)
Step... Offline IM Well thanks Chrissy...good to see your still alive. For the next
several months this blog will be the novel...so I'll try to keep it
interesting...LOL...maybe you'll come back. I am hoping to have some readers
as I work on this...which will be a good test...if its good enough people will get
interested in the characters. This is my "job" now...have decided to stay at this
until its finished...its all in my mind...but just exactly how to write it all down is
always the hard part...LOVEYA!
Friday July 14, 2006 - 09:50am (EDT)
Rain... Offline well I was here to see the next chapeter LOL! Merely write from
your heart as you always have and it will be a best seller-:)
Blessings to you Stephen
Friday July 14, 2006 - 10:22am (CDT)
Tina Offline I'm right there in the trailer with ya, like a movie (which is good).
The best writers have me seeing the scene in my noggin as I read it. Putting the
book down is like a comercial, I hate those. Anyway what I'm trying to say is it
sounds great. I can't wait til the next post. good luck
Saturday July 15, 2006 - 10:31pm (EDT)
Step... Offline IM Thanks Tina dear, I'll try to post a new part once a week...as
long as I don't get writers block and nothing else goes wrong around here.
Trying to stay inside as much as I can...the heat and the bugs ARE killer...so
maybe the words will keep coming. LOVE YA!
Sunday July 16, 2006 - 09:39am (EDT)
Rain... Offline See I told you so Stephen, Tina agreed and couldn't stop reading
it either...so please stay indoors outta the heat as much as possible and get to
writing or do you remember what happened to the guy in the movie "Misery" with
Ann Bates LOL! jk with you there...jk :)
Sunday July 16, 2006 - 05:33pm (CDT)
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