Infamous Fathideous Rap
by Stephen Wayne

I want to apologize for pissing some of yous guys off. Believe me
this will piss some of you off. But i want you to know this is not
hate rap... this is love rap... infamous fathideous rap.










There once was a homeboy from Macclenny, who married a sweet
girl who used to be skinny...
But then she got mean and then she got fat, and each day it did
seem would end up in a spat...
So the homeboy went to a counselor, saying 'i sure do love every
ounce of her...
She's the joy of my life my abundant young wife...'
The therapist said you must tell her that...
So the homeboy went home and wrote her this song as he
pondered along...
But a wise man would question his tact...
When he sang it to her she thought him a cur, for this infamous
fathideous rap...

Well i loves you baby but your just too fat, i needs you baby but
your just too fat...
Your obese condition is beyond nutrition, there's enough of you for
five dimensions...
Our beds to small i can't pass you in the hall, your cravings for
calories and cholesterol, is just not where its at...
Well i loves you baby but your just too fat, i needs you baby, but
your just too fat...
Your pachyderm rendition could be a circus attraction, I'd love to go
dancing but your too big for action...
Your damnderierre has grown to immensity, so has your other
extremities, except for your head and that looks shrunk, like a
peanut on an elephants trunk...
Your ballooning abundance is just not where its at...
Well i loves you baby but your just too fat, i needs you baby, but
your just too fat...
I don't mean to be rude when i tell you fat jokes, but you really do
need to lay off the junk food and the cokes...
You really don't need another box of sweets, its a miracle you can
bend over and put your socks on your feets...
It's embarrassing when you lay all over the beach, and the life
guards laugh...
Your rude rotundency is just not where its at...
Well i loves you baby but your just too fat, i needs you baby, but
your just too fat...

Their marriage of course wound up in divorce, and the homeboy is
now a great rapper as famous as john d krapper (we all know the
necessity of his invention) and the homeboy's sweet wife soon
found a new life, dancing at the club risqué, and miraculously, all
of her fat melted away... and the morale is... medicine with sugar
still taste like crap, much like this infamous fathideous rap.
Copyright SunShine DixieLand Company 2011. All rights reserved.
home>